3 life skills learned from homeschooling
Two and a half years ago, we withdrew our children from a relatively short stint of preschool/daycare and brought them back home. Fast forward, my oldest baby turned 5 last year and started kindergarten and I officially became a “homeschool mom.” And while I love the educational factor of being my children’s teacher such as teaching them how to read and write, perform mathematics and science experiments (I’m a nerd lol), even deeper than that is the fulfillment of first handedly guiding their life skills during these formative years.
Let’s not sugar coat things. Homeschooling essentially 3 toddlers (ages 5, 4, and 2) is not easy. Like at all. Managing tantrums, snacks, diapers, hooked on phonics, snacks, paw patrol, bouncing off the walls, weening, ABC Mouse, snacks, and so much more (snacks) is an all day JOB! Whew dem babies be draining meee. These two and a half years has seen many of my breakdowns. Sooo many tears. I’ve questioned myself more times than I can count. I’ve wondered if I was doing it all for nothing, if I was holding them back in their development. Letting naysayers and doubters get to me. You name it, I’ve battled it.
As many of us, me and my husband had no experience with homeschooling. We grew up thinking homeschool children were
”weird,” not because that was our experience with them, but because that’s what everyone else said about them. The famous “socialization” theory: that homeschool children were socially awkward. Which I never understood because I myself was and still am socially awkward and I was NOT homeschooled, haha. Despite these stigmas, we knew that we wanted full autonomy over our children’s educational and social experience especially in their younger years. And while not without its challenges, these are 3 invaluable life skills they’ve learned on our journey so far.
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GREAT socialization skills. The complete adverse of the homeschooled child stigma. With more time spent at home with mommy, daddy, and siblings, they greatly value the time they get to spend making new friends and socializing in new environments. Their confidence is fostered in “isolation” in which they believe that all children are friendly and happy people just like they are. This gives them full confidence and genuine joy in meeting others. They have no reason to believe that anyone will bully them or be mean to them so they approach relationships with authenticity and zeal. They’re the children that go up to everyone at the playground and asks them if they want to play. Even when they get rejected, it does not break their spirit. We have spent adequate time in our typical day to day affirming them enough that they have a healthy relationship with self, family, friends, and others. As a mama bear, I do wrestle with how much I try to shield them from rejection or how much to teach them that all people are not good people and to also have caution when interacting with others. However, I have found that its best to allow their nature to lead their experiences at this age instead of the fear that we as adults have inherited from life over time.
Spiritual grounded-ness. In our homeschool, we are in a constant lesson of connecting our actions with our spirits and developing good character. No part of their day is separate from the spiritual understanding of things, which is naturally best taught by their mother. Being their homeschool teacher allows me to take further advantage of these formative years with deeply refining their character and introducing them to their spiritual journey. Everything we learn is backed up by the virtues that that our family actually lives by as opposed to the values of this world, and I believe this brings greater purpose to their learning experience. At a very young age, they can understand the “why” of things. They understand that they are learning how elements interact so that they can build or create something when they’re older in order to help change the world and bring more spiritual grounding to others.
Independent thinking and problem solving. While I am able to engage with my children so much with homeschool, I’m also able to give them the space to figure things out on their own in a truly safe environment. Apart of our homeschool journey is not “over teaching.” They don’t have time restrictions with learning how to do things. The opportunity to figure it out is given and in turn I notice growing critical thinking and problem solving skills. They are already so much more capable than I was especially at their age and that alone makes this journey so deeply intentional. As parents, we all wish to raise our children so that they will be able to survive and thrive in adulthood and fostering the skill of problem solving is proving to be so important during these early ages.
I’m a huge early education homeschool advocate for many reasons that I will continue to write about in the future. But I wanted to hone in on some actual developmental benefits that I’m noticing early on in the journey. Things that I compare to my own skills at their age and subsequently my current skills, or lack thereof. If my children come to me when they’re older and say they want to go to school, I will allow them that experience as there is a peace in my heart, mind, and soul that I have provided the best foundation for them that I could have done. I’ve spent the time instilling knowledge and wisdom in them beyond academics so that they may navigate the world with boldness.
My prayer is that, as women and mothers, we can collectively work to build a society that supports and encourages homeschooling, particularly in early childhood (which is defined as ages 0-8). I pray as a community that we evolve to a space that desires and demands it. To preserve the connection between mother (parents) and child beyond infancy and toddlerhood. Children still heavily depend on their parents for learning and guidance in their young years to lay a sturdy foundation, that does not stop at age 5 when they are expected to leave the home and go to an outside school source. Socially balanced, spiritually grounded, and independent thinking children are first shaped in the home by the most qualified teacher for the job: their mother. Together as a community of mothers we can change the structure of our current societies and shift our communities to stronger foundations for our babies and future generations.
